Oglesby talking to Mary

Do you ever wake up and think, "I'm going to make cake this morning before work"?

It's great.

I have more ideas on how to improve my healthy berry cake recipe now! Yum!

Timshel- Mumford and Sons

It's official.

I didn't get in.




Damn.

Spanish Sahara- Foals

Still no word from UCSB.  I'm starting to come to terms with the idea that I probably didn't receive admittance, but I still can't quash that little gleam of hope that the will accept me.

I feel like I'm going insane.  I think I need to get out of the city for a night.  I need to be elsewhere--see the sun rise over a different horizon.

If I could, I'd jettison myself into space.  I'd float in the nothing, watching as the Earth drifts away from me on its course around the sun that never sets. I want to feel, just once in my life, the vastness of the universe.

Sleep Alone- Bat the Lashes

Day 3 or 4 or whatever. Still no reply.  I'm freakin' out, but trying not to read into it too much.  I wish I had more confidence in my abilities.  Unfortunately, I do not.

On another note, I've been to Church twice in the last few months.  Crazy, right? It's easier when you have people to go with.  But, that's kind of the point of Church, right-- communing with other people in worship of the Holy Trinity?

I realize that maybe I've been thinking of religious ritual in the wrong way.  It not that if you don't do it, you're doing wrong.  It's merely a prescriptive way to remain pious. I'd always viewed adhering to specific and rigorous ritual as just another reason to nit-pick at a person's spirituality.  However, if you have a good environment, a truly Christian one, they're merely suggested actions to tie you to worship physically as well as mentally.  If you don't do it right, you're not going to go to hell, and no evil nun is going to slap you on the hands with a cane (at least I hope not!).  Give it a try, see how it feels.  If you're uncomfortable, dial it down to your personal variation and maybe work your way up.  As long as the focus is on exalting.  And don't let anyone ever destroy your faith over something so trivial.  Judgement is reserved for God.

I hope none of that was heretical...

I think that was the most religious thing I've ever expressed outwardly.

Anyway...

Holocene- Bon Iver

UCSB still hasn't sent me an answer. I spent the whole day in Limbo.  Mary sent me home early.  She said, "Even I'm on edge about this... you must feel awful!" It was sweet.  

So I went to Marshalls and did some retail therapy, buying some new running shoes.  I didn't use them, however.  Instead I got stuck in traffic trying to make it to Highland to pick up Matt and then to Jann's for a trafficy ride to APU to see a philosopher lady give a talk.  Needless to say, we missed it.

In lieu of listening to the lady speak, Matt and I got a ton of cereal, milk, and wine at Trader Joe's and headed over to Zac's!  Unfortunately (or maybe fortunately), we were locked out of the house.  In an attempt to make the best of the night (or maybe out of hunger), we decided to eat in the car.  So we had this absurd moment of licking milk-laden grape nuts out of a 1/4 measuring cup.  It was ridiculously funny.

One of the wines we bought, though, is called "The County Fair: The Flying Pinot of the Central Coast".  It has the coolest label ever.  Matt wants to steal it from me for the awesome label.  Apparently it makes it more desirable.

Now I'm off to watch a movie!  Any suggestions?